I've been listening to Georgette Heyer audiobooks and watching Jane the Virgin and Gilmore Girls, for comfort. I've been writing a new book, which is an amazing distraction and vast relief in the moments when a scene manages to suck me in. As is the case for many people, my mental health has taken a hit. So I've been dealing with that.
I haven't been blogging much, because I don't have anything new or fresh to contribute. Everyone else is saying everything better. Have you read Malinda Lo's lovely post?
I haven't figured out yet how I'll contribute. Of course I'll donate what money I can to what causes I can. Of course every book I write will be influenced by the realities of our world; they already are; I've already written three books with the backdrop of a narcissistic, cruel, selfish, power-hungry man who manipulates and traumatizes people with lies. I will keep telling stories – of the young people who throw their hearts and bodies into fighting that bullshit.
But I haven't figured out yet what else I will do. I'm slower than a lot of people who are currently bursting with passionate ideas left and right. But I'll figure it out. Each of us needs to find her purpose; forgive yourself if it's taking you longer than it seems to be taking other people. Forgive yourself if you're hearing ideas and thinking, "I'm not ready," or "That's not for me." Also, remember that small things matter as much as big things. Everything matters, and everything is connected.
Because I'm mostly listening and thinking, I'm not sure how much I'll be blogging about all of this. I'll keep blogging about writing; I'll keep blogging about the new things we're doing every month; certainly I'll be blogging about my new book. Beyond that, I'm still figuring out what to say here.
I wish I had something beautiful and inspiring to offer today. I don't. But, from my current place of deep processing, I wanted to reach out… and let people know that I don't have anything to say yet. If you find yourself trying to understand or articulate or express yourself right now, and you just can't yet – I feel for you. I get it. It's okay. We'll get there.
The one thing I'm sure of is that love does trump hate. Always.